The Hours

When clinical depression is “on-the-clock” it can be sheer agony. It resists and lingers, sometimes for days and days. (It can last for months if untreated.) But it seems that it is these “hours” that are scarcely endurable. It’s truly all this “wasted” time that can seem most unbearable to the afflicted.

“I was mute and silent,
I refrained even from good,
And my sorrow grew worse.”

–Psalm 39:2, NASB

Depressed people tend to suffer in silence and isolate themselves from the outside world. When you’re depressed, you feel less motivated to go out, make contact, socialize or participate in activities, or doing anything at all. It’s all you can do just to get out of bed.

Days, even weeks can go by without wanting to see anyone or talk to anyone. This aggravates feelings of isolation. Often depressed people do not want to talk about their problem or simply feel misunderstood.

Similarly, prolonged and intense feelings of depression can lead to loneliness. Treating the symptoms of depression may help resolve the problem but it isn’t a sure thing. Finding good relationships can push you out of a depression. Loneliness often fuels my depression. Find understanding friends that you can talk with.

unbelieving-believersBeating depression or loneliness does not start with having more friends, or a relationship, although it can help. It really starts from within and is a process that takes time and care. We can be tempted to scrap friendships because they’re a lot of work. But they maybe one of the keys to healing. Experience has taught me that humans go through life in patterns. (We ‘ll do the same thing over and over again.) Even in different situations, these patterns will be repeated and simply generate the same results. A friend can be a new and strategic solution to breaking free.

It is a good thing to know that Jesus Christ sees and understands. 

But it’s also good to have someone with “skin on.”  Someone you can see and touch.  That’s precisely why we have the Church.  People who believe and touch each other deeply, helping each other up.  Depression does not do very well in the true Body of Christ.

“Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.”

Galatians 6:1-2

Dear broken believer, take solace in the people in the church. Learn to confide with those who understand. Sometimes I wonder if God has arranged my mental illness so that I will reach out to others. Perhaps He allows it to bless His Church?

“The church is not a select circle of the immaculate, but a home where the outcast may come in. It is not a palace with gate attendants and challenging sentinels along the entrance-ways holding off at arm’s-length the stranger, but rather a hospital where the broken-hearted may be healed, and where all the weary and troubled may find rest and take counsel together.” 

–James H. Aughey

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Dangerous Thinking

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Anne Lamott is a writer and a person who understands mental illness and ‘recovery’ issues.

She is also a ‘brokenbeliever’. I have read several of her books; she writes elegantly on faith and discipleship. She is a rare jewel. She writes carefully and creatively.

Coming across this quote was fortuitous for me, to say the least. This quotation effectively captures a somewhat dangerous mind that prevails among mentally ill people. We should come to the realization that our thinking needs to be ‘supervised.’ I must concur.

I can be patently ‘unsafe’. My thinking will often get distorted. I can get pretty strange at times. The ‘nice people’ who know me first-hand call me ‘eccentric.’ The ‘mean people’ outright ostracize me. Delusions blow through me periodically, with the occasional flare up episode of paranoia. The doctors call this Bipolar disorder.

Like Anne Lamott, I am a Christian believer. But my mind twists things up so much, I must regard it as an enemy. It can be capable of good; but dark things grow there as well. I have given up hope of ever navigating it alone safely. I simply cannot trust it. Mine can be capricious, untrustworthy, and unreliable. I know what it is like to be afraid of your own mind.

“Who is this coming up from the wilderness
    leaning on her beloved?”

Song of Solomon 8:5, NIV

However, if I venture into this steaming fetid jungle, with the Holy Spirit firmly in charge, we can navigate through safely. (But I dare not venture in alone, as things can get ‘scary.’) The Spirit is completely trustworthy and He is always faithful. No matter what I discover, I really try to let Him tell me if the ‘coast is clear.’ Together, we have seen some crazy crap, but He never ever ‘freaks out’ and leaves me alone.

“But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.”

John 16:13

Dear afflicted one, don’t venture in alone. Look only to Him. He is ready (up on tip-toes!) to be your guide. You don’t have to muscle through the ‘jungle’ all by yourself. Remember that there are others who can help: a spouse, a pastor, or anyone who understands what you’re up against. Only you can know what your mind is doing, but others can help you.

When you find yourself lost in your wilderness, “lean on your beloved.”

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P.S. Anne Lamott has some very readable books out there. Check her out.

 

The Church Triumphant

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A church as a hospital during WW1
“The church is not a select circle of the immaculate, but a home where the outcast may come in. It is not a palace with gate attendants and challenging sentinels along the entrance-ways holding off at arm’s-length the stranger, but rather a hospital where the broken-hearted may be healed, and where all the weary and troubled may find rest and take counsel together.” 

James H. Aughey

I have heard of a hospital in England that gives a loaf of bread to everyone who asks. This tradition has been going on for over 800 years. The hungry are fed at St. Cross Hospital by just knocking at a door. This hospital takes ministry very seriously.

Jesus Christ so loves sinners that He gives to all who come to Him. Hungry sinners have to do is knock. But there is more than this. He provides a bath to all who are filthy. A wardrobe to cover up any nakedness. A bed to everyone who is weary and sad, for the Gospel meets every spiritual need.

I like to think that there is room for the mentally ill at Jesus’ hospital. A safe place for those who are exhausted by their battles, a room where Jesus can bless those who are afflicted. I believe there is such a place. For my own soul has been comforted by Him.

The Church carries on the ministry— it’s a St. Cross Hospital— for the immense needs of human beings. The sons of Adam and the daughters of Eve can find salvation and comfort from a world that intends only to destroy. Furthermore we now represent Jesus to a desperate world. We become Christ-like for this reason. The Church triumphs during times like this.

The poor and needy– the sick, the lame, the mentally ill, the prisoner, the addict are the Church’s glory. This little group of rag-tag disciples are responsible for the care of the lost. We just need to figure out how we can reach them. The Holy Spirit will help us.

The World is watching us. We welcome this, for we are the salt and light lifted up so all can see. We were born to serve.

 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.”

Matthew 5:13-14

We dare not remove and nullify our mission. When we do so we become nothing more than another institution that is trying hard to secure a place in this world, Our distinctiveness is “blood bought” and our mandate is to be  “the Salt and Light” in this dark place. It is our sure calling. It is the Father’s will. We will be the Church triumphant.

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Check out: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hospital_of_St_Cross

“Depression Deceptions,” by James Winsor

“Pilgrim’s Progress” by Bunyan

Bryan’s Note: On many occasions I encounter a blog that communicates so well that I think about doing a re-post.  Today is one of those days. So, here is Pastor Winsor’s exceptional article on depression.  I hope that his perspective will bless you and give you a deeper understanding of this mental illness.


 

Depression Deceptions by Rev. James Winsor
Lots of people these days suffer from depression. Many of them are Christians. If you suffer from depression, I hope the following information helps you. If you don’t suffer from depression, then maybe this will assist you in understanding and helping those who do. Here is a list of three Depression Deceptions to avoid.

 

Deception #1: If you’re depressed, you’re not a strong Christian. 

On August 2, 1527, Martin Luther wrote these words in a letter to a close friend: “l have been thrown more than a whole week into death and tossed back and forth in hell.. .I have lost Christ totally and have been shaken by the floods and storms of desperation and of blasphemy against God.”Even strong, mature Christians like Martin Luther can suffer from depression. Depression is not a sign of unbelief or weak faith. It’s a sign of spiritual battle, and battles are for healthy soldiers.

This is a sin-sick world. You’d be crazy not to be depressed sometimes!

Deception #2: No one would understand. 

Holy Scripture tells Christians to “bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). We’re told to “mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). God doesn’t want you to carry your depression alone. God makes sure there are Christians around who understand.

You don’t have to be alone in your depression. Not all Christians will understand it, but some will. You just have to take a few risks until you find the ones who have experienced depression themselves and will understand what you’re going through. Your fellowship with those Christians will be tight. You may even end up being glad the depression brought the two of you together.

Deception #3: Depression is a Useless Detour in the Christian Life.

God has a purpose for the depression that falls on His children. In an Old Testament passage we’re told that “an evil spirit from the Lord tormented King Saul” (1 Samuel 16:14). God had anointed David to be Saul’s replacement as king. God wanted to save Saul’s eternal soul, but He also wanted to replace him as king. So God sent David as a music therapist for Saul. “Whenever the spirit from God came upon Saul, David would take his harp and play. Then relief would come to Saul; he would feel better, and the evil spirit would leave him” (1 Samuel 16:23).

God gave Saul a problem and sent David as the solution. Saul might have done the obvious thing – thank God for David and support him! But instead Saul tried to kill David because he was jealous of him. Saul missed the opportunity his depression offered him. He rejected both his depression and David as gifts from God.

St. Paul, on the other hand, had a similar experience of evil sent from God for a good purpose. He responded the right way and received the suffering as a gift from God. Paul wrote, “There was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.. .When I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).

God presented Paul with a problem. Then He presented him with the solution, grace in Christ. Paul learned to be thankful for his weaknesses because his weaknesses made him need Christ.

Depression does that to and for you. It leaves you with nothing to hang onto, but Jesus. When you’re depressed, you can’t find anything inside to place hope in. All that exists is darkness and emptiness. You come to find your hope in something outside of you: Christ and His cross and pardon.

That’s not a detour from the Christian life. That is the Christian life, God has you right where He wants you.

I was really depressed one day. I told a pastor friend of mine, “Sometimes I don’t know whether I’m saved. All I know is that I have a Savior.” God had me right where He wanted me. I could actually rejoice in my weakness. Suddenly all I had was Christ. And, in a way, you don’t have Christ until Christ is all you have.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” 

Galatians 6:2

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” 

Romans 12:15

NOTE: If you can’t seem to shake your feelings of sadness and depression after a few weeks, seek out help right away. Talk to your parents, a counselor, or your doctor to help you deal with these overwhelming emotions.

 


 

The Rev. James Winsor is pastor at Risen Christ Lutheran Church in Arvada, Colorado.

 

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Taken from the Spring 2002 edition of Higher Things magazine. You can write Higher Things at P.O. Box 58011, Pleasant Prairie, WI 53158-8011.

 www.issuesetc.org

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