Category: sanctification

An Inconvenient Madness, [A Broken Believer]

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Very simply, bipolar disorder is characterized by mood swings that are defined by major shifts between incredible mania and clinical depression. It’s usually intense and quite disabling.

Depression: There are days when I wake up and I don’t like what I see in the mirror. At times a deep and profound sadness seems to grip me like a vise. It’s like a huge heavy grey cloak covers me, and I can’t shake it off. Typically I hide and crawl into bed for weeks at a time. All is hopeless and I despair of life. I am irrevocably lost. This is bipolar depression and I’m slowly learning that I can shake it free.

Mania: When I’m manic it’s as though I have wings! I’m blasted with a special grace which makes me creative and intelligent and superior to mere mortals.  I become energetically impulsive and irritably crass. It’s all about ME! Thankfully these times don’t happen too often. These moods don’t last long but they’re intense. A measure of freedom can also be found.

Medication prescribed by my psychiatrist helps smooth things out. It was hard to adjust to taking them, but now I know I did the right thing. It’s been over 10 years since my diagnosis and I suppose I have the dubious honor of just surviving. I have several scars on my wrists that remind me of a long journey. Those afflicted will understand.

It’s been suggested that bipolar people can become more empathetic and sensitive to the suffering of others. I’d like to believe that this is true. This seems like a biblical idea.

“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”

2 Corinthians 1:4, NLT

 “The Sovereign Lord has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary.”

Isaiah 50:4

For the broken believer, I’m confident that the Lord can turn my mental illness into something positive and good. The Holy Spirit empowers the Christian to do the extraordinary. It’s in our weaknesses we can become strong. We are fully enough in Christ. (2 Corinthians 12:9).

I stepped down from my positions as a pastor and a Bible instructor when the bipolar symptoms became clear. This wasn’t easy but I knew it was what God wanted. Today I still speak on occasion at a local Church.

I also minister here at brokenbelievers.com and http://www.lambfollowers.com.. I try to post everyday and I get constant feedback from those who are in need. Just a single post, a list of 24 hour crisis hotlines, averages 175 hits a day by itself! (https://brokenbelievers.com/247-crisis-lines/)

I do covet your prayers for both ministry sites.

This work would never have happened unless I was “detoured” by my bipolar.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”

Romans 8:28

I want to urge you to look at the big picture of mental illness. Sure it can be remarkably disruptive, but the Lord can transform you. Meds and therapy are vital for me. Prayer and Bible reading even more so. You can find a way through this. It’s not easy. Don’t fight the illness. The Father works close to His “special” children. There is a real and abiding hope for you. I’m convinced you can find it.

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All About Flawed Lives, [Hope]

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“Accepting the reality of our broken, flawed lives is the beginning of spirituality not because the spiritual life will remove our flaws but because we let go of seeking perfection and, instead, seek God, the one who is present in the tangledness of our lives.“ 

— Michael Yaconelli

The principle is sound. We let go of our flaws, and make no effort to redeem them. Sounds easy. Although I feel no qualms in doing so, I still wonder. Can He forgive so much, and so many brazen sins?

We can so easily turn on ourselves (at least that’s the tendency) and find accusation.  We become our worst enemy, we desperately carry our guilt like some overloaded and heavy pack all throughout  our broken lives.

We must finally realize we can no longer seek perfection (or its facsimile) by our conduct. Things have gotten far beyond this. We are rascals and ragamuffins– and are likely to remain so. Unless God intervenes decisively.

But love has a way of loosening our rigorous thinking, like a rusted nut on some corroded metal bolt. He wrenches us, and wants to forgive us of everything. He has decided to love us. You must respond to find his forgiveness. Plain and simple.

Instead of seeking perfection, we should be really seeking God. I suppose this can be daunting. But God is comfortable in our difficulties. He rules over our personal confusion. We come with less then zero. He gives us everything.

We can do nothing but accept. His grace. Grace moves us beyond our personal tragedy. Finally accepting we can do nothing, he does everything.. And where does this leave us?

Our striving for a final acceptance comes down to this:  He rules over all our ‘issues,’ and we’re constantly made aware of this excessively extravagant grace. We are rich, only because he has made it so.

There is no one else who can make us worthy. There is no one else who can connect with our sin and then at the same time make us holy in his eyes. There is only God.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

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Does Your Christianity Include You? [Discipleship]

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 “Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again.”

1 Thessalonians 5:23, NLT

Sometime I feel like things should be different. When I made the decision to follow Christ I operated on the assumption that things would just change. I had a lot of problems but also now had a remarkable savior.

And I still do. Fundamentally things became new. My sins were forgiven and I knew that Jesus Christ died for me.

However I failed to realize that I would sin daily. I guess I thought otherwise. As a matter of fact I became even more aware of my depravity than ever. My sins are of omission and commission and they are many. The Holy Spirit’s convicting ministry worked inside my heart.

Does your Christianity include you?

Too often I think we expect holiness to be instantaneous. We wanted a complete eradication of the bad and a dramatic new change in the good. And to a certain extent that has happened.

I now believe that our walk of disciple is more like– “two steps forward, and one step back.” Sometimes its even “one step forward and two steps back.” It can be discouraging to say the very least.

The probable reality is that discipleship is not really an instant epiphany but a gradual transformation. But that doesn’t make it a lesser miracle!

As I survey my life, I discover I sinned more after I received Christ than in my life before. Perhaps the measure of discipleship isn’t the quantity of sin but the quality of our faith.

I daily come to Jesus with my sin. I have to live in repentance every day. The miracle is that I experience the daily infilling of my heart with the Holy Spirit. When I wait on Him He comes and fills me up.

I run into issues when I don’t:

  • confess my sin
  • refuse to change
  • don’t wait on God for help
  • live out the promises in God’s Word

As a believer in Jesus I will be transformed by Him. I don’t want to pretend that I need Him daily. I am slowly being changed by the Gospel, I may struggle but He holds my heart.

“Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

1 Thessalonians 5:23, NASB

ybic, Bryan

 

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Those Joyful Christians

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“You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
    I will praise you with songs of joy.”

Psalm 63:5, (NLT)

“To be truly happy– a man must have sources of gladness which are not dependent on anything in this world.”

J.C. Ryle

The defining hallmark of vital Christianity has to be joy. It is truly what describes believers in every culture, from a ‘rice paddy’ in Vietnam to a business woman in a NYC skyscraper. Joy is seen in their hearts and faces. Its source– the indwelling Holy Spirit; He makes them ‘bubble’ in a ‘carbonated’ kind of holiness. He sets them apart for Himself. They are His own possession. He loves us prodigiously.

I must say this: Joy is not contingent on ‘good’ circumstances. A bad day at the office or a bill-collector at the door can’t nullify the Spirit’s ministry inside of us. We can be joyful in all circumstances without being comfortable with them. As a matter of fact, we can rejoice (joy, again) in our tribulations.

Ultimate joy is waiting for us. We must turn-off the TV and give our video games a rest, and press into communicating with God. Sometimes we’ll need to shut down the internet for a few hours, to keep ‘the spring bubbling’ fresh and clean.

It will take work to set the Lord before you,

you will have to say ‘No” to some things.

Awareness of Him through His Word and worship are good habits to have. They are essential for ‘broken believers’ that may struggle with physical or mental handicaps. They are as vital as the meds we must take.

 “And Nehemiah continued, “Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!”

Nehemiah 8:10

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