Heart Disease

Hearts 168457_154905807894473_110794108972310_320156_2061498_n“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things,
and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?”

Jeremiah 17:9, NLT

We are the wounded. What exactly has caused it isn’t always known.  A death, divorce, depression and disability are great triggers.  Some of us are chronically ill, others are mentally ill.  We struggle to hold a job, and to go to church. There are some who are reading this who are controlled by addictions.  And a few of us consider suicide on pretty much a regular basis.

We’ve been hospitalized and stigmatized, and sometimes even institutionalized. And at times we endure massive attacks of fear and anxiety.  We are not easily understood, and we hear the whispers.  Our paranoia can often saturate what what we are thinking, (I think its more like a “marinade.”  Our brains just soak it up.)  Most of us are ‘walking wounded.’ We limp physically, and figuratively with equal pain.

“For thus says the LORD: Your hurt is incurable,
    and your wound is grievous.”

Jeremiah 30:12, ESV

If we are honest (and God insists on a rigorous honesty) we realize that we are a mess!  The prophet Jeremiah had a tremendous understanding of the human condition, and was never beguiled by the lie of pride, arrogance and selfishness.  He declares that we are diseased down to the core, like a rotten apple.

At times we continue in our favorite style of darkness.  And havoc sporadically rips through us and we become “disaster areas.”  How very sad, and profoundly tragic.

But you must understand this powerful fact.  Jesus Christ has been sent by the Father to save and cleanse all who come to Him.

“At that time a fountain will be open for David’s descendants and for the people of Jerusalem to cleanse them of their sin and uncleanness.”

Zechariah 13:1, NCV

“Children, it’s time for a bath,” and what God has done provides us the only way to “get better.” Some of us have carried staggering burdens for decades.  But I must be truthful. Our afflictions may continue to disturb us.  If you are bipolar or depressed, it just could be you’ll remain so.  But I know first-hand that our Father will give us an extra ration of grace.

In the Old Testament, family patriarchs could give an additional portion to a son he especially loved.  All were blessed, but some more so. That peculiar proclivity of our Father is why some of us with deep wounds can follow closer than others who are healthy.

“For I am the LORD, your healer.” Ex. 15:26

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“The treatment a wound gets decides whether time will bring healing or bondage.”

&

ybic, Bryan

kyrie elesion. (Lord, have mercy on each reader)

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Zero Condemnation

Condemnation-Condemnation can go viral among believers.  Not only does it infect us, but we become ‘carriers’ that often can sicken others spiritually.  Our attitudes and thinking can become quite disturbed, and we then communicate that to our family and friends.

To be perfectly honest, condemnation is not easily defined.  But it seems to be  the feeling that we are being judged for our sin.  It carries a judicial sense that a verdict has been spoken over our lives–and we are guilty as charged.  Condemnation carries a sense of finality or doom.  It has an idea of irreversible punishment. (Conviction, on the other hand is hopeful and comes with promise.)

People who are trying to live with condemnation feel as if they are waiting for an executioner to appear.  There lives are filled with dread and foreboding. But it all seems right. Life unfolds for them in dark paranoia.  On the other hand conviction will lead us to compassion and mercy, but condemnation is a lie and falsehood.  There is a profound sense of guilt which a believer is able to push back–but only so far.  It is heartbreaking to see, especially when you understand the scope of the battle that is taking place.

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

Romans 8:1

The human race is under the righteous judgement of God for our sin.  We cannot pretend that this isn’t real.  Just a cursory overview of history supports this fact, with our wars and famines.  In our natural state, we excel at mistreatment of others.  There is a viciousness and an evil that is embedded in our hearts.

But Jesus is our Savior, He came in the pattern of a sacrificial lamb.  He took on all of your sin, and evil.  He absorbed it, and took your guilty verdict.  He was your sacrifice.  What Jesus did was complete and total.  He just didn’t take a percentage of your sin, He took everything from you–no matter how dark and evil.  He siphoned it all away. and He carried all your weight. He took all the punishment.

Condemnation comes when we find a reason not to believe this.

Condemnation-flattenedThere is almost always doubt involved, and it seems too good to be true, after all.  There is also a entrenched concept of justice, right and wrong.  Believers with a real feeling for ‘the scales of justice’ find themselves without any hope. They lose the concept of mercy and grace for their sins.

“Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Messiah. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down.”

Revelation 12:10

There is an evil presence in this world.  It accuses us, and confuses us.  His name is Satan– and he is all together evil.  He makes a concerted effort to try to destroy us.  He floods us with wickedness and darkness.  If you will not stand against him, he will bring you down. However, you must understand this, he has been defeated.  But I must reinforce this, without Christ, there can be no immunity from the darkness of condemnation.

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When Your Soul is Helpless

Psalm 86:1, A Cry for Help

(A prayer of David)

1″Lord, listen to me and answer me.
I am poor and helpless.”

There is a poverty that far exceeds anything physical.  It is not tied to our checking account or our investment portfolio.  We are poor people; quite destitute as a clear matter of fact.  We are penniless, and truly destitute of all things spiritual.  We don’t have, rather we  owe.

We are really nothing more than helpless beggars.  

Some of us gather at the King’s gate, truly assured we are nothing more than “sinners saved by a wondrous grace”.  We have to admit, we can never earn or achieve a spot in heaven.  This is quite embarrassing for us, that there is such a social pressure to be good and proper. (Funny, but yesterday I went out for a bit and when I got home I discover my pants were unzipped.  I was mortified.  But this brought home to me the embarrassment of being “undone”).

In some infinitesimal way, I was tapping into this deep feeling of being undone and shamed. But without knowing this sensation (spiritually speaking) we will go to our graves trying to excuse ourselves, and trying to avoid admitting our sin.  We point to our environment, trying to divert attention to something or someone else.

Jesus told us in Matthew 5, “Blessed are the poor in spirit… and blessed are those who mourn.”  It seems we are not suppose to attain, but obtain.  To take a certain forgiveness and a sincere mercy from Him.  He will give it freely to any who sense their need.  If you don’t ask, you simply will not receive.

King David spiritually understood his own poverty before the Almighty.  In spite of his deep weakness and evil, he knew that God was still approachable, and that He was listening to anything and everything David shared with Him.  This is a whole another level of faith.  It strikes us as arrogant and slightly outrageous.  “David, the cold and unfeeling murderer– the ugly adulterer?  How can this be?”

But it takes poverty to become “poor in spirit.”  What I mean is this.  To be a sinner, we must’ve sin.  We become beggars, by begging.  We need to stand at the corner, with our cardboard sign and our cup and confront others with our desperate need. We must do this spiritually.

In our discipleship, we simply can’t unhitch the wagon from our spiritual poverty.  We are exactly who we are.  Luther once said, “Sin boldly, but believe in God more boldly still.”  If we think that he was permitting sin, we are being astonishingly stupid.  Through this quote we come to a truth, allowing us to just accept who we are– “world-class” sinners! But also to believe, deep down, in a God who loves us profoundly and completely.

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5

Shedding Self-Importance

Bryan & Lynn, Still learning to be servants

“I have had more trouble with myself than with any other man.”  D.L. Moody


April, 2000

Shortly after Lynn and I were accepted by Kachemak Bay Christian Center to be their pastor, we traveled to California to be with family for a few weeks.  On our return to Alaska we drove from Anchorage to our home in Homer on the Kenai Peninsula.  I could hardly wait to jump in and be a real pastor. It was my dream, and God had “groomed” me for this moment!

As we drove into Homer I noticed the marquee on the movie theater.  It read, “Congrats to Bryan and Abi”.  I immediately stopped the car to gawk in amazement.  I was flabbergasted.  I suddenly felt a warm flush of self importance.  Homer was recognizing me as a pastor, as well as ABI, the Bible school in town that I had been teaching at, also in Homer.

I was delighted and duly impressed with how enlightened my town had become in recognizing me since my trip ‘outside.’.  I actually drove around the block to take in this wonder and took another look.  I was completely taken in by this marquee.  My pride took over and I felt invincible.  Words would pour off my lips and my little town would be guided by my spiritual brilliance.  I felt a warm surge of “heavenly” authority.

About two weeks later I picked up the local newspaper.  As I paged through I came across an announcement for a wedding for someone named Bryan and Abby.  I suddenly pieced it together.  Abby had been an employee at that movie theater before she got married!  The management had put this message on their behalf.

Immediately the Lord jolted me back into reality.  My arrogance and pride drained from me.  I felt like a pompous ass.  I had so inflated myself, thinking I was so impressive and important that the crash devastated me.  I was not as awesome as I thought I was.  I was embarrassed by how easily I was led into this spiritual trap of self-importance.

The Bible has a great deal to say about pride and arrogance.  “One’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor.”   I would like to say that I have overcome this arrogance, but I catch it growing in the corners.  I can say that even though I was so self-absorbed and self-important that I am now immune from this sin.  But that would be a lie.

Jesus loves the humble.  He favors those who are poor in spirit.  But he resists people who are proud and self-sufficient.  He stands against the arrogant.  The Father hates my pride and my arrogance.

I want to encourage you to come to Jesus now.  Come as you are and He shall meet you.  Dispense with your pride and “humble yourself before the Lord”.  We do all right if we see ourself as ordinary and average.  Satan will look for any handle you give him.  Pride is one of his favorite ways to control you.  When the disciples tried to figure this out they ended up fighting (Mark 9:33-34).

 “But it should not be that way among you. Whoever wants to become great among you must serve the rest of you like a servant. Whoever wants to become first among you must serve the rest of you like a slave.  In the same way, the Son of Man did not come to be served. He came to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many people.”

Matthew 20:26-28, NCV

The ”marquee incident” was 15 years ago, but I am determined to remember how the Lord revealed to me my pride.  It has become humorous to me now, but at the time it was brutal.  I have had to learn through weakness.  When I am weak, He is strong.

“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”  Tim Keller

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