Hiding Our Wounds

Brennan Manning Quote
“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house.”

Matthew 5:14-15, ESV

Overall, I think this Manning quote is a great observation. We, the torn and wounded, often try to hide, secluding ourselves in the “Island of Misfit Toys.” (Got to love those 60s Christmas cartoons.) We pretty much accept our lot as damaged merchandise.

Maybe we choose to isolate ourselves more than we want to admit. Could that be what we do? Are we still embarrassed and ashamed by all that we’ve done? That’s quite possible.

This may come as a shock, but the Church doesn’t need any more gifted people.

But it does need broken people who understand ‘the giftedness of the flawed.” When we conceal, we diminish the Church by our absence. We can ostracize ourselves, through a self imposed shame— but the Church will suffer. We need to show them that everyone can be healed, even screwy ‘fruit-cakes’ like us.

I recently had the privilege of speaking to a class of young Bible college students.

My subject was decidedly not on being successful, but on being a failure. Whole courses are geared toward ministerial success– but where are the ones for failure? I think that it just might be even more important, in the long run.

No human effort is going to erase your past.

I have tried and it can’t be done. I have blitzed my brains on drugs and booze, but I still remember the people I’ve hurt. (And I pray for them.) There really isn’t a cure for the evil we have done. I believe in forgiveness. And I hold to the idea that are sins are never to be a subject of  guilty accusation–

“He will again have compassion on us;
    he will tread our iniquities underfoot.
You will cast all our sins
    into the depths of the sea.”

Micah 7:19

Our dark iniquity is put in a very deep place. But there are the memories of an unkind word, or a sad and dark foolishness that we must learn to live with. There will be many regrets, and we face the terrible consequences of our sins, but it’s enough to know that all is under the blood of Jesus.

We are indeed forgiven. Completely.

We are now to live as forgiven sinners, yet precious in God’s eyes. We discover that although the Father has no favorites among His children, but He does have intimates. We are to live the rest of our lives for His glory, exploring that intimacy.

“Leave the broken, irreversible past in God’s hands, and step out into the invincible future with Him.”

  Oswald Chambers

Admitting I Need Jesus

When I was in the sixth grade, a friend invited me to her church. My parents didn’t go to church, but said I could go with Clarissa if I wanted to. Before long, I was spending at least three days a week with my church friends. I learned who Jesus was and that if I believed in Him I would be saved.

I believed, though I didn’t fully understand my need for a Savior.

It would be many years and much wayward living later before I would realize the importance of the Apostle Paul’s words to the church in Rome. “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, ‘But the righteous man shall live by faith.’” (Romans 1:16–17 NASB).

It’s easy to think “of course I’m not ashamed of the gospel.” Why would anyone be ashamed of the good news that Jesus died for our sins so that we might be reconciled to Him?

But at its core, faith in the gospel requires the believer to say “I can’t do this myself.”

Well, let me tell you a little secret that believers and nonbelievers often forget. We humans, with all our self-importance, like to think we’re the kings and queens of the universe. We strut around like peacocks, patting ourselves on the back for our so-called brilliance. And you know what? We even pass that audacity onto our poor children, encouraging them to be little independent dynamos. But hey, who needs divine intervention when we’ve got our fabulous human ego, right? wink

I remember a time when my son was in high school and because of a snow day his class schedule was changed. As a result, he took the wrong books. He called to ask me to bring the right books to the school office on my way to work, which I happily agreed to do. When I got to the office to drop them off, the school secretary chided me for bailing him out. “These kids need to learn to be responsible or suffer the consequences,” she said.

I’ve thought of that encounter often, being thankful that Jesus didn’t say the same to the Father when the plan of salvation was put into place. What if Jesus had said, “You know Dad, these humans need to be more responsible or suffer the consequences.” We’d all be doomed.

And so, although it requires me to admit I can’t do it alone, I choose to live by faith in the One who gives me His righteousness.

For the broken believer (which is all of us, if we’re honest), it is all the more important to be okay with something less than full independence. We were created to be dependent on God and on one another. We were created to live in community and relationship with others.

Note: A version of this article was originally published in the January 2020 issue of The Christian Journal, a publication I highly recommend, and not just because they publish some of my writing.

Little Sin, Little Love— Much Sin, Much Love

 

She was forgiven many, many sins, and so she is very, very grateful. If the forgiveness is minimal, the gratitude is minimal.”

Luke 7:47, Message

I have been a disciple of Jesus for over 40 years.  But it seems that I really haven’t been a desperate lover of Jesus until recently.

I have seen a lot of stuff, so I made a quick list–

  • the charismatic movement
  • the Imperials
  • New Wine Magazine
  • “I Found It”
  • Larry Lea‘s Prayer Program
  • the PTL Club
  • the Shack
  • preaching on the streets of San Francisco
  • Jesus’ festivals, Festival of the Son
  • Promise Keepers
  • Anita Bryant
  • the Living Bible, youth edition
  • YWAM teams, the Candle– SF
  • Four Spiritual Laws
  • ’88 Reasons Why
  • “Honk if You Love Jesus”
  • preaching on death row
  • Don Francisco
  • carrying the cross, Arthur Blessit
  • the Hiding Place
  • Watchman Nee
  • Outdoor baptisms in city parks

I’ve been exposed to a lot of winds blowing through, and moving on.  You learn to separate the chaff from the grain.  Much of my life has been spent winnowing out to get to the good stuff.  God, through his word describes a coming “trial by fire” over each person’s works.  Romans 14:12 says,

“Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God.” 

One time I walked as a backslidden Christian. I remember once waking up from a drunken stupor with my t-shirt soaked in blood. That blood was someone elses.  I sobered up really quick.  I had this shadowy awareness of beating someone almost to death.  I still catch myself wondering what exactly happened.  There is so much stuff that will be revealed, and I have done many despicable things.

The judgment seat of Christ, therefore, involves believers giving an account of their lives to Christ. The judgment seat of Christ does not determine salvation; that was determined by Christ’s sacrifice on our behalf and our faith in Him. All of our sins are forgiven, and we will never be condemned for them.

We should not look at the judgment seat of Christ not as condemnation but as love, but rather as the Lord speaking into our lives. Yes, as the Bible says, we will have to give an account of ourselves. Part of this is surely answering for the sins we committed.   

But the One who will judge me is also my Savior. That comforts me.

The Greek word for the judgement of Christians is “bema seat.” It was where the judge sat during athletic contests.  Think of the high chair on which a court official sits during a tennis match.  

The issue will not be our salvation, but our faithfulness.    

Loving Jesus must become your critical objective for the rest of your days, 1 Peter 4:8, “Love covers a multitude of sins.”  We also read of the sinful woman who washed Jesus feet, “therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” (Luke 7:47)

Dear one, practice loving him– starting today.  Many are the doers, few be the lovers.  The demanding weight of evangelism and world missions has quadrupled in the last 10 years.  Now is our time!  We love much!  Time is getting very short.

 

Repeated Sin

I must tell you this right from the start! You must believe it before we can go any further.

(I want to apologize for my brother pastors who may have told you otherwise.)

1 John 3:6-9 

Over and over, we sin the same sin until it has become habitual. It is exactly the opposite of godliness (that’s why we call it ungodliness.) It’s truly the other side of the proverbial coin. It haunts everyone who sincerely wants to follow Jesus.

Let’s understand these things. I’ve listed seven consequences of repeated sin.

  1. It creates hypocrisy and self-hatred.
  2. It nullifies witness, and the work of missions.
  3. It cancels out real praise, worship, and Bible reading.
  4. It destroys real fellowship between other believers.
  5. Any personal ministry is degraded and turned upside down.
  6. It blinds others, and deceives them to who we really are inside.
  7. It always engenders guilt and unworthiness, especially toward God.

I once lived in a house that had a severe mold problem. The previous owner, in an attempt to make things liveable, painted over the offending walls. He meant well, of that I am sure, but the problem of the mold was never dealt with properly. No matter how much you slathered on the paint, the mold was still alive and well. It simply worked its way to the surface. Sin is like this.

Paul’s letter to the Romans, chapter 7, gets to the root of our “mold.” If we read it carefully (as we should) we’ll start to grasp what it means to walk biblically.

Paul floats different concepts our way. Law, sin, nature. Each word must be processed.

“Law” is something that is always true. (Think of the Law of gravity.) “Sin” or falling short. The Greek word is pretty descriptive–it means “an arrow that misses the target.” “Nature,” or the intrinsic character of something.

We use these words so seldom that they seem archaic and outdated; but not so. Understanding these three opens up the entire realm of spiritual holiness. When we realize that the Word explains our situation so clearly we become convinced that holiness is possible. We begin to hope again.

Tolerating repeated sin is a terrible form of “spiritual suicide.” It always breaks fellowship with the living God. But as a believer, God doesn’t break fellowship with us, rather He comes closer and patches up our self-inflicted wounds. But even then we will not understand Him.

The Father’s heart is for us to be heart-holy. This is His perfect plan for us. 

1 Peter 1:14-16

You must become convinced. You dare not continue to sin and live in terrible guilt and risk “spiritual suicide.” You must decide that the Spirit of holiness is in residence in your heart, and live willingly as true saints. 

But there is an all powerful remedy to our sickness-plague of repeated sin. Almost always we stare at this ugliness, it seems we’re fixated on it. Often there are two approaches we take regarding repeated sin. 1) We ignore and flail out a life of “holiness.” We minimize this. 2) We become hyper-aware of our sin and guilt. We maximize sin to the point where we lose all joy and peace.

“Looking at the wound of sin will never save anyone. What you must do is look at the remedy.”

D.L. Moody

I need to stop teaching now. Rereading this has made me slightly frustrated about what I’ve written. If any of this has helped, I’m glad. I’d like to close this with a Billy Sunday quote. He explains the seriousness of repeated sin. 

“I’m against sin. I’ll kick it as long as I’ve got a foot, and I’ll fight it as long as I’ve got a fist. I’ll butt it as long as I’ve got a head. I’ll bite it as long as I’ve got a tooth. And when I’m old and fistless and footless and toothless, I’ll gum it till I go home to Glory and it goes home to perdition!” 

 Billy Sunday