How Does It Effect You?

depression-symptoms

There are four areas that chronic depression will effect you.

  1. Emotions
  2. Thoughts
  3. Physical
  4. Behavior

We need to really visualize the areas in order to understand. This grasp of the facts will not change a thing, but will only give you a sense of what depression is doing to you, or your loved ones.

Some will emphasize one or another. But all four areas play a part in this disease. We may think we can twist around these, but we’ll find we are still trapped by the evil ogre of depression. (And he takes all the prisoners he can.)

We are hostages to this sickness. Depression truly destroys lives and hopes. It comes uninvited, and springs its trap on us. It can immobilize us in an instant.

David knew what it was like to be a hostage of depression. In Psalm 32:3-4 he wrote:

“For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
    through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
    my strength was dried up[b] as by the heat of summer.”

Many readers will relate. It carries with it an authenticity of a man that is a dear struggler. His experience, and his willingness to write openly provides us with comfort and understanding.

Paul knew all about depression. He wrote in 2 Corinthians 7:6:

 “But God, who comforts the depressed, comforted us by the coming of Titus;”

Ancient writers called it “the Noonday Demon.” Winston Churchill called his depression, “the black dog.” Both definitions seem spot on.

Christians will ask me whether depression is caused by an evil spirit, or is it biological? I usually answer both. There is strong evidence that it is a mental illness; an illness like any other (e.g. diabetes, or migraines). It can be treated, to a degree, with meds. But there is a spiritual dimension as well requiring “spiritual warfare” on an serious level.

My own meds have helped me greatly. But strong prayer and worship have assisted me just as much. Reading the Psalms are really helpful. I have made the personal discovery that the presence of God is a great way to walk free.

When you’re truly desperate, you will find a way. Of that I’m convinced. I leave with Philippians 1:6:

” And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

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Fear God Only

fear god only

“—for you shall not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God—”

Exodus 34:14

“And remember that the heavenly Father to whom you pray has no favorites. He will judge or reward you according to what you do. So you must live in reverent fear of him during your time as “foreigners in the land.””

1 Peter 1:17, NLT

flourish2

A frequent issue confronted by disciples is that between fear and faith.  The question posed to us concerns “fearing God”, and trusting Him.  Can intimacy be built on the foundation of fear?  Deep within, we understand the need for fear, at least a reverence.

We are now sons and daughters of a loving God who just happens to be holy and just. It’s as if our faith is reduced to an uneasy contact with someone who is quite dangerous. We don’t easily find the balance; it drives us to a false sense of relationship. Often we are either resentful and cower, or we blatantly disregard Him. (Or somewhere in between.)

Yet fear has a place.  Our Father reveals to us that He is not just some mere tribal deity over a specific group of people.  Rather, Jehovah God is the Creator, and the Sustainer of this terrestrial ball, and everything that works itself out in the here-and-now.  We are to fear, but with a legitimate fear.  He is a loving God who happens to hate sin and iniquity. These things continue to destroy His creation. It defiles all that is right and perfect. He would not be just, or right to overlook sin.

I am certain that He loves me with a “crazy-love”.  His affection for me pushes the boundaries of anything logical. He is not reasonable with His intense love.  He directed His Son to come for me, and lift me out of my ugliness, sinfulness and perversity.  His love goes beyond anything rational. But I fear Him. It is a fear that I might offend Him and somehow harm His kingdom. (That is a legitimate possibility, but it also strengthens me to obey Him.)

So, do I fear or do I love?  I think the wrestling with this will work itself into me.  It is fear and love combined, worked into my heart like yeast is worked in bread dough.  There will be a resulting effect. I have a faith that should grow this up. It needs to advance as I mature in Him. I choose to love Him fiercely, and fear Him conclusively.

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Brutal Honesty: Self-Control

broken-walls

“A person without self-control
    is like a city with broken-down walls.”

Proverbs 25:28

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

2 Timothy 1:7

There is no harder subject for me to broach than this one. It splits wide open a Number 10 “can of worms.” The issue is this: what is my mental illness, and what is my “flesh?” I suffer from Bipolar Disorder (and a mild form of epilepsy). But I am also an evangelical Christian believer.

So what is what? If this BP is causing extreme behavior, am I somehow exempt from the control of the Holy Spirit in my life? (Now this maybe easy for some of you to figure out, but I’m still contemplating here. Please bear with me on this.) I like things explained to me.

People are very complicated, and there are seldom any lines drawn between emotion/spirit/body. At any given time we all operate on different levels. For instance, my body maybe cold; but I’m praying quite fervently in the spirit. I can have a toothache and be really angry at Lynn (my wife). I never feel the need to analyze these actions.

Having zilch self-control is one of many bipolar symptoms. Believe me, my life has been completely devastated by snap decisions that carry terrible implications. I also habitually excuse my impulsive behavior by…

  • compartmentalizing, (categorizing everything as different)
  • rationalizing, (reasons behind ‘bad’ behavior)
  • and justifying my bad choices, (The devil made me do it).

My Bible tells me that the Holy Spirit is present to give me self-control. I believe this truly. But way too often (actually, most of the time) I’m focusing on trying to eliminate the negatives like bingeing, isolating, obsessing or plotting. I completely ignore the positives, like worshipping, praying, reading devotionally, or fellowshipping.

The vaunted “fruit of the Spirit” cannot be found in my carnal life. (If I may, allow me to change metaphors on you.) Suppose you had a real nice car sitting in your drive-way. It’s a real beaut. But since you don’t have the key, you must push it to make it go. It’s really tiring and you feel like giving it up all the time. (A trip to the store takes hours and hours.)

Silly you say? Yes. But no sillier than trying to live a Christian  life without the Holy Spirit. You see its his presence that allows you to live an impossible Christian life. My mental illness causes me a lot of grief. It affects me tremendously, as well as my friends and family. I must take meds to ease the worst of its disturbing symptoms. But there is supernatural help.

16 “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17 The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.”

Galatians 5:16-17, NLT

To be guided into the “fruits of the Spirit” is imperative (see Gal. 5:22-23). We’ve a tendency to accentuate the “deeds of the flesh” to our own detriment. As mentally ill people we must turn this on its head and invite the Holy Spirit to energize us.

My BP symptoms are no match for His presence. If anything they force me to helplessly call out to Him. This is a supernatural transaction that is mandatory to becoming Christlike. My physical weakness can be the backdrop for walking out convincing discipleship. Trust me, to live like a “receiver” is far better than trying to live like a “generator.” (But you  probably already knew that.)

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Quarantined, for His Purposes

quarantine.flag
Nautical flag for a Quarantined Vessel

5 “You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.”

Psalm 139:5, NIV

There is a place where God quarantines you from the general population. This place is quite disconcerting and disrupting. You may not realize it, but He has placed us in seclusion for our own good. We will remain there until He decides to release us. We are not at liberty to serve as we wish.

Often our sin, and self-deception will be reason enough. King David writes of this place of being “hemmed’ in, and facing the world of separation. And indeed, it is isolated and detached, and without any real relief. You earnestly want to serve, but you’ve been blocked. You can’t minister the way you wish. Your gifting and opportunities are put on hold during this season.

Somehow, and in someway I want to encourage you. This is from His hand, and He has placed you:

  • in this moment,
  • for this time,
  • for His purpose.

You are not rejected, far from it. The Father only intends to separate you for a season until His purposes in you are completed. This is hard, and yet it is necessary. You are being detained for your own good.

Sometimes personal sin run rampant is the issue. Maybe you have tried to control yourself , but to no avail. The Holy Spirit will not utilize you until you will relinquish your sin. Here you sit on an edge, and that can be treacherous. You can’t minister from this place. Press into Romans 6 if you want His opinion on the matter.

Being quarantined is actually the best thing that could happen. Even though it is hard and seems unkind, it is actually a good thing. You are isolated until things of the heart are addressed and dealt with. Being “hemmed” in is challenging. You are confined for His purpose.

My heart is for you, I understand this moment. I suggest you embrace His work, and hang on to His will. He will use you, but in His time and place. He knows your heart to serve, and He will not stifle you in your gifting. But you must wait, rest, and cooperate. You must “walk by faith, and not by sight.”

20 “Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable. 21 Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.”

2 Timothy 2:20-21, ESV

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