Category: confusion

The Ugly Tree

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Several years have passed, and I mark out each day with a silent wish. I look across the road and I see something that doesn’t belong. A tree that is hideous; a tree beyond any kind of symmetry, a tree that is very ugly. It’s beyond any kind of redemption. It is bad, and needs to be cut down. It is an eyesore.

When I see it, I’m aggravated. It never, ever really belongs. I dream of sneaking past the road and chopping it down. I want it to fall. Why should it blight my eyes? Why should I allow it to obstruct my view of the wonderful mountains? It is all wrong. (I rejoice at every wind-storm.)

But sometimes, God will speak to me through the “Ugly Tree.” There is a moment when we just might see something beyond the normal. It stands, because He made it so. Could not the Father have made it His “visual aid” just for me?

  • In my own personal sin and twistedness, could I be the spiritual version of “the ugly tree?”
  • Could the cross of Jesus be “the ugly tree?” The place where He absorbed all our sin?

Both seem to be relevant to me.

As I type this I’m looking across the road. Maybe it should stay as it reminds me of who I am and how much the cross means to me. Perhaps it should stay.

ybic, Bryan

 

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The Ugly Ducklings

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Illustration by Vilhelm Pedersen, Andersen‘s first illustrator

An old fairy tale came crashing through my study this morning. Perhaps you can remember it, “The Ugly Duckling”  by Hans Christian Andersen.

Now I don’t think about children’s stories very often. I regard my thinking about them to be a bit of an anomaly, and certainly not everyday fare. Maybe it should be a more regular occurance. CS Lewis once wrote, “Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.” I think he might be right.

“The Ugly Duckling” is a story about an homely little bird raised by a flock of ducks in a barnyard. He doesn’t really fit in and can’t ever seem to master being a duck. He is clumsy and ungainly and rather strange looking.  He is abused or ignored by his companions. He doesn’t fit.

You see, he is a swan. He can’t seem to fit in with the other ducklings. He really doesn’t belong. He tries hard to make it work, but his best efforts at being a duck are doomed to failure. It isn’t who he is. He isn’t a duckling, he is cynget.

“For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.”

Romans 8:29, ESV

You see, you are different. And you can’t fit in. We have a different destiny than those who surround us. We are “swans” and we can’t change who we really are. (Some try, but to no avail).

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Romans 12:2

We are the ugly duckling who will never fit in. The transformation takes time, but to the amazement of his “friends, he becomes what he was meant to be all along.

Brokenbeliever, try to understand– once you accepted Christ as your Savior, you began to be transformed. You are now a “new creation.” You will never fit in.

“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”

2 Corinthians 5:17, NLT

This is a miracle that the world can’t grasp. It is the spiritual makeover that defies any explanation or reasoning. You have become a swan, the most “graceful” of all creatures.

ybic, Bryan

 

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Paranoia and Delusions, Oh My!

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Didn’t really sleep last night but an interesting day.  Hope it continues to develop in that direction.  I really need a good day to come along right now.

Been thinking about paranoia.  It comes loaded up with delusions.  They are separate words, but when they make that toxic combination it gets strange.  Are people out to get me?  Probably not.  People are by far and away more apt to dismiss me then to plot against me.

Paranoia is the belief in a hidden order behind the visible.

Delusions are a strong belief in something despite superior evidence to the contrary.

I don’t know why this is such a hard concept to hold on.  Paranoia is intensely self-absorbed and egocentric.  Everything is conspiring to destroy me is a very foolish way to live.  In a culture already overheated by egomania, to offend me becomes a declaration of war.  My paranoia makes you a mortal enemy.  But to act from that destroys me.  I only take it deeper and make it easier to slide into the next time.

Paranoia is not rational.  You can not reason with it.  (You certainly have my permission.)  For me, I win the battle over paranoia and delusions by “displacement”, pushing it out by adding in the presence of Jesus. The Holy Spirit fills us and flushes out the bad. At least that is what it feels like.

When I recognize Him to be the good shepherd, He watches over my thoughts like sheep.  He protects me from paranoia’s snares and thorns. I experience peace when He is present. I find Jesus actively helps me in this.

There are times I hear the voices, and “see” the monstrous faces leering out of the wallpaper. But more often I concoct delusions about people who I feel have slighted me. Paranoia provides plenty of grist for me to grind. I’m learning how to recognize the lies, and the liar who speaks them to me.

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.”

2 Timothy 1:7, AMP

Often I hear what seems like a telegraph, a varying ‘dot-dash-dot.’ It is very loud and obtrusive, but I know now it’s not real. I read a cool quote, that made me laugh, “I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code.”  -Emo Phillips

I hope your day goes good.

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Zero Condemnation

Condemnation-Condemnation can go viral among believers.  Not only does it infect us, but we become ‘carriers’ that often can sicken others spiritually.  Our attitudes and thinking can become quite disturbed, and we then communicate that to our family and friends.

To be perfectly honest, condemnation is not easily defined.  But it seems to be  the feeling that we are being judged for our sin.  It carries a judicial sense that a verdict has been spoken over our lives–and we are guilty as charged.  Condemnation carries a sense of finality or doom.  It has an idea of irreversible punishment. (Conviction, on the other hand is hopeful and comes with promise.)

People who are trying to live with condemnation feel as if they are waiting for an executioner to appear.  There lives are filled with dread and foreboding. But it all seems right. Life unfolds for them in dark paranoia.  On the other hand conviction will lead us to compassion and mercy, but condemnation is a lie and falsehood.  There is a profound sense of guilt which a believer is able to push back–but only so far.  It is heartbreaking to see, especially when you understand the scope of the battle that is taking place.

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

Romans 8:1

The human race is under the righteous judgement of God for our sin.  We cannot pretend that this isn’t real.  Just a cursory overview of history supports this fact, with our wars and famines.  In our natural state, we excel at mistreatment of others.  There is a viciousness and an evil that is embedded in our hearts.

But Jesus is our Savior, He came in the pattern of a sacrificial lamb.  He took on all of your sin, and evil.  He absorbed it, and took your guilty verdict.  He was your sacrifice.  What Jesus did was complete and total.  He just didn’t take a percentage of your sin, He took everything from you–no matter how dark and evil.  He siphoned it all away. and He carried all your weight. He took all the punishment.

Condemnation comes when we find a reason not to believe this.

Condemnation-flattenedThere is almost always doubt involved, and it seems too good to be true, after all.  There is also a entrenched concept of justice, right and wrong.  Believers with a real feeling for ‘the scales of justice’ find themselves without any hope. They lose the concept of mercy and grace for their sins.

“Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Messiah. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down.”

Revelation 12:10

There is an evil presence in this world.  It accuses us, and confuses us.  His name is Satan– and he is all together evil.  He makes a concerted effort to try to destroy us.  He floods us with wickedness and darkness.  If you will not stand against him, he will bring you down. However, you must understand this, he has been defeated.  But I must reinforce this, without Christ, there can be no immunity from the darkness of condemnation.

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