Category: protection

Man on Fire

man-on-fireOne morning in January 1984 I set myself on fire. I was in my cabin up on the ridge and I was trying to build a fire. Alaska can be a cold place. I had also started a coffee pot and because it was so cold I opened up the oven door a couple of inches to get some heat.

The oven started getting the place warm, and I gratefully backed up my butt to it. That is when it happened. My sweater ignited from the front burner. At first I didn’t realize that I was on fire, but when the flames started spreading over my head I panicked.

I couldn’t put it out! I dropped to the floor and tried to roll. All that seemed to do is embed that burning sweater into my back, and set the carpet on fire. I ran to the bathroom with the idea of getting under the shower. Somehow I knew that was my only hope.

Needless to say I ended up in the local hospital with second and third degree burns on most of my back. It took months to recover and I still have the scars. It was something that changed my life.

Ironically, I had been thinking of a verse in Hebrews just the night before. I wondered what it meant.

“He makes his angels spirits, and his servants flames of fire.”

Hebrews 1:7

 As I healed I prayed for understanding. Why did the Lord allow this to me? I was in my third year at a Bible college and had given my life over for the Gospel. Why did this happen to me?

I’ve never gotten a complete answer from the Lord, but it did confirm my call into the ministry. It also made me aware of the precariousness of our lives. It taught me to appreciate life.

The doctor told me that if I had run outside instead of staying inside I could have died. God preserved me for His own purposes. We have no way of knowing “our time.”

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Romans 8:28

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Dangerous Thinking

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Anne Lamott is a writer and a person who understands mental illness and ‘recovery’ issues.

She is also a ‘brokenbeliever’. I have read several of her books; she writes elegantly on faith and discipleship. She is a rare jewel. She writes carefully and creatively.

Coming across this quote was fortuitous for me, to say the least. This quotation effectively captures a somewhat dangerous mind that prevails among mentally ill people. We should come to the realization that our thinking needs to be ‘supervised.’ I must concur.

I can be patently ‘unsafe’. My thinking will often get distorted. I can get pretty strange at times. The ‘nice people’ who know me first-hand call me ‘eccentric.’ The ‘mean people’ outright ostracize me. Delusions blow through me periodically, with the occasional flare up episode of paranoia. The doctors call this Bipolar disorder.

Like Anne Lamott, I am a Christian believer. But my mind twists things up so much, I must regard it as an enemy. It can be capable of good; but dark things grow there as well. I have given up hope of ever navigating it alone safely. I simply cannot trust it. Mine can be capricious, untrustworthy, and unreliable. I know what it is like to be afraid of your own mind.

“Who is this coming up from the wilderness
    leaning on her beloved?”

Song of Solomon 8:5, NIV

However, if I venture into this steaming fetid jungle, with the Holy Spirit firmly in charge, we can navigate through safely. (But I dare not venture in alone, as things can get ‘scary.’) The Spirit is completely trustworthy and He is always faithful. No matter what I discover, I really try to let Him tell me if the ‘coast is clear.’ Together, we have seen some crazy crap, but He never ever ‘freaks out’ and leaves me alone.

“But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.”

John 16:13

Dear afflicted one, don’t venture in alone. Look only to Him. He is ready (up on tip-toes!) to be your guide. You don’t have to muscle through the ‘jungle’ all by yourself. Remember that there are others who can help: a spouse, a pastor, or anyone who understands what you’re up against. Only you can know what your mind is doing, but others can help you.

When you find yourself lost in your wilderness, “lean on your beloved.”

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P.S. Anne Lamott has some very readable books out there. Check her out.

 

An Armored Response

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When the Holy Spirit talks we listen. What He shares is usually pretty relevant, and typically mandates our action. He is into change, and guides us into Christlikeness.

In my prayer time I saw a man climbing into the turret of a tank. He was sheltered there, protected by the tank’s armor. He seemed to be discovering the capabilities of the tank. He slowly began to grasp the potential of it, and soon began to turn the massive gun. He played around, not so much as a soldier, but as a child would. It was fun to spin the turret around. He could go places on its tracks. He could run over trees.

But slowly he realized that this was much more than a shelter, but it was an offense weapon as well. The tank could be quite formidable, as well as safe and secure. Surrounded by the armor, he at last began to understand exactly what this tank was capable of, and his role as driver/gunner. Using the gun, he could go up against enemy strongholds.

We come into a certain maturity when we begin to obey. God-given tasks become a joy. We start to see not just the defensive perspective, but the offensive as well. God’s ability is given to anyone who asks. His power can’t be diminished. He alone is the force to be reckoned with.

We are often stunted by our vision, we simply don’t grasp the enormity of what has been given to us.

“I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead,”

Ephesians 1:18-19

“For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God’s power.”

1 Corinthians 4:20

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Lost & Found: An Original Poem

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Dear Bryan,
The Holy Spirit inspired me to write this poem. Please share it with your readers if you think it would help them. God is amazing.
God bless you,
Mary Ann Russell, (a reader)

Lost & Found 

I used to think one bullet, would take the pain away. 
Take care of all my problems. Save me from another day.

Yet it was a nail that saved me,when they nailed you to a tree. 
Your grace & mercy changed my life, for all eternity. 

Both betrayed by ones we loved, purposed in God’s great plan.
To get me on God’s path again, You, to take on the sins of man. 

Confronted by enemies in the middle of the night,
You gave in gracefully while I had just begun to fight. 

To fight the fight of faith,to lead others to You,
What the enemy meant for harm, gave me faith anew.

You deflected that single bullet, with love & hope abound.
I found a new reason for living. I will never be kept down. 

I will raise your name in glory while picking up my cross.
My salvation is my victory & the devil’s loss. 


 ~M. A. Russell
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