Category: affliction

Caregivers: Improving Your Serve

serving-hands

One of the weightiest issues of caring for a mentally ill spouse, child, or friend, is that it is so phenomenally relentless.  The disease is so unpredictable, in its intensity and its spontaneity.  You think you have the situation in hand, and it breaks out somewhere else, and often in public and causing major problems.  This is wearing on anyone, including the Christian believer. And sometimes that can even make it more challenging.

You will need a support network, if you’re going to be a caregiver.  This support is received in three different ways.

First, emotional support.  Without someone who can listen and give words that encourage you, you’ll grow in resentment and frustration with your particular “lot”.

Second, I would suggest physical support.  You will need someone to help you make sure the practical issues are met.  (washing the car, fixing the shower, etc.) My wife as a caregiver has had to do things that she would normally wouldn’t be called on to do (fix the stove, do the taxes, etc.) because of my illness.

Third, spiritual support.  It has three concentrations. Worship, prayer, and fellowship.  These three have obvious effects on the caregiver.  Just a word to the wise–when you pray you are going into it as two people (as well as for yourself).  You must maintain and strengthen yourself and for the person you are serving.  I think this is critical to your relationship.  Try to see challenges, not obstacles. Don’t forget the power of a worshipping heart or the warmness of good Christian fellowship.

God gives special grace to the caretaker.  My advice is to take it, and then use it.  Draw upon Jesus who is your caregiver.  Present your afflicted one to Him.  Be supernatural in the mundane.  The story of the paralyzed man on his cot being brought into Jesus’ presence by his friends fascinates me.  It has many parallels for you to be a good caregiver.

“And behold, some men were bringing on a bed a man who was paralyzed, and they were seeking to bring him in and lay him before Jesus,”

Luke 5:18, ESV

My last word of advice is that you don’t be self-critical or feel guilty.  Remember, it is your friend or family member who is the sick one.  Don’t get consumed by your responsibilities.  Don’t fall in the trap of judging yourself by how well you do or don’t do as a caregiver.  Remember, you are not performing for others, but for an audience of One, who sees all.

Educate yourself, use the internet to track down information.  If I can help you further, please feel free to contact me.  I’m not a rocket scientist but if I can encourage you I will.   May the Holy Spirit touch your heart. You are going to need it.

 

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Abide in His Light

 

I am come a light into the world, that whosoever believeth on me should not abide in darkness. John 12:46.

 

I see a darkness abides
across the land
born of sin in a broken world
where innocence died
selfishness allowed to putrefy
into chaos
Though darkness will come
This He has warned us
Though darkness will come
Abide in the Light
Abide in the Light
to obliterate the darkness
It seems a darkness abides
deep in my soul
born of pain inflicted
innocence stolen
anger allowed to fester
into bitterness
There’s a darkness within me
This He has shown my wounded soul
There’s a darkness within me
I must abide in the Light
Abide in the Light
to extinguish the darkness within

 

 

 

 

A Benefit of Depression

Thanking God For Pain

by Terry Powell,

Even when emotional pain is not the direct result of sin, it pays dividends in the war against sin.

When I’m extremely depressed and prone to fits of weeping, my heart is obviously softer than usual. And it’s during such times that the Holy Spirit often convicts me of wrong thoughts or behavior patterns. Since I’m already in a dependent state due to depression. I pray more often, if only for relief. And anytime I’m in a “seeking God” mode, the Holy Spirit is more liable to engage in a purifying work within my heart. So in a sense, tears spawned by physiologically-induced depression can serve as a cleansing agent.

Depression also drives me to the Word of God for relief.

Memorization of promises, especially from the Psalms and Prophetic books, instills a disciplined study habit that carries over even when the depression is gone. I’m reminded of the hard truth in Psalm 119:71, that affliction of any sort can deepen my dependence on God’s Word: “It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn Thy statutes.”

Paul’s words also illustrate the point I’m making. His burdensome experience wielded benefits for the spiritual realm. Referring to an affliction he encountered in Asia, he wrote: “We were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves in order that we should trust not in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead” (2 Corinthians 1:8-9).

Like Paul, pain inevitably draws me closer to the Lord. That’s why I can thank Him for the pain, as explained in the poem that follows.

THANK YOU FOR THE PAIN

 

Thank you for the broken heart;

it is softer than before.

Since the pain ripped it apart

it’s insensitive no more.

How can I salute the pain?

Now I am more prone to pray,

to yield to my Savior’s reign,

and to let Him have His way.

I’ve no choice but to depend

on the Lord’s sustaining grace.

And He’ll pay a dividend

for each tear upon my face.

For God accepts as sacrifice

a heart that’s broken in two.

He’s already paid the price

for all that I’m going through.

There is no way I would choose

the hurt, all the times I’ve cried.

Yet it’s a gift I won’t refuse,

for it cleanses me inside.

I’m driven to wield Your Sword;

to give the Spirit His due.

So thank you for the pain, Lord,

for it draws me close to you.

How has a despondent spirit, or another kind of affliction, facilitated a closer relationship with Christ?

your brother,

Terry

 

Terry teaches in the areas of Church Ministry and Ministry Leadership at Columbia International University in South Carolina. He has served as a Christian Education staff member for three  churches, and he’s a licensed preacher in the Presbyterian Church of America.  His current books in print are Serve Strong:  Biblical Encouragement to Sustain God’s Servants, and  Now That’s Good A Question!  How To Lead Quality Bible Discussions. Terry has been married for 46 years, and has two sons, a daughter-in-law, one grandson, and a dachshund.  His constant prayer is, “Lord, make me half the man my dog thinks I am!”

Check out his blog at https://penetratingthedarkness.com/. His ministry is focused on Christians experiencing clinical  depression and other mental issues.

 

 

The Blessings of a Long Battle, part 4

boxing3

In thinking about this final installment about how God can bring much good out of our protracted struggle with sin, weakness, or a problem, it dawned on me how important it is to see the Big Picture. In some ways this post reiterates truths in part 2 of this series, but also adds important new dimensions to those truths and explores new territory.

When a soldier goes through boot camp, it’s crucial for him or her to see the overall purpose of his training–the Big Picture. He or she is being pushed and tested in different ways to the extreme so that they will be prepared for any situation on the battlefield, won’t crack under pressure, and will be a team player.

In the conquest of Canaan under Joshua’s leadership, the nation of Israel experienced many victories over different hostile nations. However, Judges 3:1–4 says that God did not allow the Israelites to completely triumph but left certain enemies in the land (e.g., the Philistines) so that his chosen people would learn warfare.

When we became Christians, God could have put us in a cocoon of protective grace where we would be insulated from our three primary enemies–the world, the flesh, and the devil–but he didn’t so that we would also learn warfare.

If he would’ve sheltered us from the battle, we would end up like many “trust fund babies,” who, because of their vast inherited wealth, never have to work a day in their lives. They’re protected from the toil and struggle of life and never have to worry about paying the rent or the electric bill.

Often there is something profoundly missing in their lives: many are spoiled, shallow, and have not been battle–tested. Perhaps God designed an existence where we battled the world, the flesh, and the devil so that we would not end up becoming spiritual trust fund babies.

Macarius was a great monk who composed the Macarian Homilies in the 4th century. He was convinced that, if after becoming Christians, we were protected in a cocoon of grace from the temptations of the world, the flesh, and the devil, many of us would soon become conceited and fall as Satan fell. Instead of a three steps forward, two steps back grind that life often is, we would have a series of unbroken successes and become lifted up in pride and fall like Lucifer did.

In seeing the big picture, nothing is more important than understanding that God the Father through the Holy Spirit has been preparing a Bride for his Son in a Marriage that will span eternity. He wants you to be a part of that Bride. The Father wants the Bride to fervently love the Groom.

There is no love without free choice. If we would’ve been protected from the enemies of our soul, and choosing the Groom was exquisitely easy or even automatic, where’s the love that has been tested in the furnace of affliction? Like any spouse, Christ wants to be chosen. If we were automatons or even semi–automatons, where’s the love in that?

When we are in a long struggle with sin or weakness, it is because we have become over–attached to some created thing. Addiction is over–attachment in the extreme (e.g., overeating, alcohol, drugs, pornography, sex, power, work, shopping, etc.)

Christ the Uncreated One wants to be chosen over all the created things. Christ the Groom wants to stand in the midst of all his competitors–i.e. created things–and have the Bride choose him. One of the blessings then of a long battle is this: it’s the vehicle whereby we choose Christ as our Groom, as our only lover.

Does that love somehow go away if you’re a Christian who is up to your eyeballs in sin, addiction, and weakness? If anything God loves you more after you fall, because where sin abounds, grace abounds more. And as the old religious cliché tells us, he loves us in our sin and loves us too much to leave us there.

 *

Jonathan

Check out Jonathan’s own site at http://www.openheavensblog.com/.

 

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